Not sure if the topic has already been covered but:

Me and my friend decided to take up this game and give it a go... we took it up a few years ago but then was overwelmed with "content" and put it back down...... Now we notice that things are simplified and more understandable..... 

Already annoyed with the lack of being able to put all skills on the hotbar and or being able to keybind them to our own liking, but we got use to things thats to pro vids/guides 

I like to do lifeskilling thing, i pushed up cooking to artisan 1 and alchemy to artisan 1 and the bright idea that ok,  my friend can just give me the mats i need and i craft things for us to use while we play........  Made a heap of simple cron meal with mats i had and now realize I cant trade them to him......ok so we figured maybe guild storage , NOPE not there eighther so whats the point of running a guild if we cant have a guild storage that guild mates can drop things in and share if they have roles (cooks , alchemist, gatheres etc)..... not everyone can play for the many hours it takes to farm up the loads of mats needed to craft something simple thats very much needed.

Getting annoyed and loosing interest :(  ..... or are we doing something wrong

I think you're looking for World of Warcraft.  All the things you're complaining about are explicit choices by the devs to either mitigate problems that are rampent in other games, or ways to differentiate the game from other games.

Action Combat: This isn't a tab target game, there are benefits and disadvantages to hotbarring skills.  There are skills that can't he hot barred.  This is all an explicit choice to make an engaging combat system that differentiates the game from your press button watch action type game.

Player to Player Trading:  This is disabled because you trade items through the market place.  This helps prevent the rampant gold selling and botting you see dominating other games.  It also allows price fixing to be prevented/controled to some extent.

Guilds: Restrictions on guilds and warehouse trading is similar to player trading.  They were either done due to abuse in the past or explicitly designed to counter abuse in the first place.  Guild relevancy is a bit shaky in the current version of BDO as their major selling point from the past were largely either pvp or payouts (or both), both things largely irrelevant atm.  What is still relevant is guild bosses and the buffs/stats that guilds give your for being in them.

Sell your cron meals on the market, buy your materials from the market.  If you're friends gathering stuff then they sell that on the market as well.  BDO is largely about individual progression rather then group progression, its just how the games designed.  If that's not what you're looking for I'd recommend giving a different game a try.

Hear hear.  thank you.  I don't want any of the changes he's asking for.  I've seen them abuse.

I hate to say it, but seems you would like the easier MMOs out there like WoW, Elder Scrolls, or FFXIV.

BDO is an Open World Sandbox, not a theme park game.  BDO is not everyone's cup of tea, it is a great game but it does require you to actually learn how to play rather than logging in pressing tab 123 tab 123 repeat and that would be the extent of the content.  

think your explanation helped with this 1 line "BDO is largely about individual progression rather then group progression," ..... so this game is def not for us that wana play together and share things among each other.  I decided to be the cook n she decided to be the alchemist so it seem we both have to be both in order to have our own buffs etc.

what is the disadvantage of hot barring skills?  Took me a while searching thru all the classes to find the one that i dont have to be pressing so many different wierd button combinations .. my frined chose maegu and he found a guide and at least all the big skills are on the hot bar so thats kool.

Is there a list of things that are tradeable, We notice that you can trade somethings would be nice to see what all we can and cannot..

BDO is fast pased action combat. Buting skills in hotbar is basicaly shooting yourself in the foot. It will make you slow. The system in use is way better.If you had to to use 3-5 skills yes, but BDO is way more complicated, for its speed.

i like the speed and flashiess..... its getting use to pressing buttons all over the place thats tripping me up especially with fat fingers.... 

At least most skills can be hotbared so thats a plus and until those skill animation are done u cant do a next skill so works out the same in my opinion unless skill cancel is a thing...... Almost feels like im entering some mortal kombat cheet codes from back in the day up down back left w e q z y  ...... We will try controller  does it get any better/ recommended with controller? 
if yes does PS4 controller works with BDO wired or it has to be bluetooth

When I first started playing, I tried the hotbar thing simply cause it was there and soon realized that learning the combos for the class you play ws much easier and faster. Generally key hits for one skill on a class will have the same key hits as a skill on a different class... but the downside is that while a series/combo of key hits/skills will flow together for one class, they will not for another class. Hotbar is good to try things out and see what they are visually, but soon after, you want to learn the combos so you can be fast.

There's very few things that you can trade but I think you can get them through the NPC vendors for low silver and aren't really worth trading.

One thing that you can definitely do together is teaming up at monster zones... If I remember correctly, with kill quests, you can party up and knock out them out really fast. Leveling up is faster when partied together as well, I think... at least it feels like it is. When I've gotten into parties of five at Trees, I hit 62 on my season characters in not much time at all.

 I use PS4 controller on my PC in combination with the mouse. Controller for character movement/fighting etc... but mouse for things like moving supplies around in my inventory or using the menus. I definitely do my movement and fighting combos better on the controller than when I tried using keyboard. I grew up on consoles... so that's what my brain and muscles are used to. about the only games I can use keyboard for are simple ones like minecraft and stardew lol.

Also, you will have to set your controller up for it... and it can be tedious to do, but once you've figured out how you like to move/fight with one class and do their skills with controller, it's really adaptable for pretty much any other class.