By grindy I mean like killing mobs over and over again in the same area for hours on end. I find that really tedious.

I've finished the season with full pen tuvula and I think can get boss gears from it. Some people have told me that the real grind begins now because I'll need to grind for gears stronger than boss gears.

In terms of what I want get out of BDO: I like pvp, especially group pvp like with my guild and that kind of thing (haven't played pvp in this game yet), and I don't mind being killed more often than I kill other people but I don't want to die in 2s. I also enjoy doing stuff in group settings with other people like world bosses, raids etc but I don't have to become an end game player with top tier gears. I'm not into life skills at all. Basically I'm a filthy casual that's into MMO elements but don't want to spend too much time on it (cuz have a busy job irl)

I want to do all of the above without significant grinding. Is this game for me or it's time to stop?

This is a korean grinder, what you expect? The content is the grind.

I don't know how you finished the season, but you should level to 60 atleast.

As for not dying in 2s, you will going to die in 2s with most classes even at hardcap gear. The only players who live for more than 2s on avarage when hit are the ones who build full defense on a defensive class. In this game defense is mostly about avoiding the damage.

The grind in the season wasn't bad and definitely tolerable. Basically I just grinded mobs for a bit and mixed with questing using the chenga tome following guides on youtube that got me to 61

It's not super grindy for people who played this game for a long time. On average when they grind for a week, I could finish 10 AAA single player games.

It's a grind game for certain, but just how grindy is up to each person. If you are a person who can take the game in stride slowly working towards goals it will feel way less grindy, but if you are one of those people who need to have full PEN, fallen god, labreska, and TET Blackstar yesterday the game will feel and be very grindy for you.

You'll grind till you fingers fall off. Pvp well it's all capped outside of siege and open world, so if you play during peak times even with full pen boss and the best of best gear pvp is still a first knockdown wins the fight. Pvp last 1-5 secs depending how much the player runs and dashes. 

The answer to your question is filled with tons of nuance.

TL:DR - It's all about steady gameplay, acheiving incremental goals at your own pace, and setting your BDO schedule on your own terms.  There's no timeframe you need to get gear -- especially now with all the capped stuff everywhere.  Just play at your own pace and find a comfortable AFK activity.  It's a long-term style game, IMO.

The amount of "grindy-ness" really falls on you, as an individual, the goals you set out for yourself, and the timeframe that you want to acheive those goals.  If Node Wars / Siege are your main goals, most of these are gear capped now, so the grind to reach those caps using Chimera Earrings / Kaia Necklace is relatively short -- you don't need to grind that long to reach BiS Tier 1 NW gear, for example.  This is amazing for new players and casuals, as BDO is no longer a "hardcore MMORPG" like it used to be, where, in order to be a top performer, pretty much required you to grind your butt off for gear and practice a ton to get really good.  Just PvP in capped content and run a META class, you get pretty much the full experience of organized group PvP and can perform well.  Only thing missing is the feeling of pride seeing your grind and practice pay off via performance, since grind is mitigated with capped content and performance mitigated with META classes.

Arena of Solare also exists which is gear-equalized arena PvP.  It's pretty fun.  META classes exist, but you won't die in 2 seconds in here unless you potato and get jumped by the entire enemy team at one time.  But as CatDK said, generally, in most PvP scenarios, the key is avoiding damage / CC while simultaneously taking advantage of opportunities to outplay so you can be the one CC'ing and dealing damage.  TTK is really high -- even in gear capped NW's, but in this scenario, the key is knowing when to go in and knowing how to utilzie your forward guards / iframes / super armors to avoid getting CC'd and taking damage.

BDO doesn't have raids.  But there's dungeons you can run if you want.  World bosses are pretty useless outside of Garmoth and Vell, granted you get lucky, but bosses can be fun if you're into it.

But BDO, when you get into it, becomes a part of your lifestyle, if you plan to stick with it.  IMO, it's the only game that has this "part of your lifestyle" feel to it.  I'm busy IRL too -- work Mon-Fri 9-5 full time job and do real estate on the side, which takes up my weekends (planning on going real estate full time in the near future).  I also have a daily exercise regimine, pets, my place that I need to clean, clothes I need to wash, rent to pay, and a girlfriend to maintain a relationship with.  While I recently have had less time to play than before, it's pretty much always been like this since I started BDO 6 years ago and with steady play, I've reached a comfortable gear score without needing to whale.

I say "BDO becomes a part of your lifestyle" because of it's routine nature -- For example, a typical Monday for me:  Get home from work, sell fish from fishing, grind 1 hour, work out, make and eat dinner, shower, grind another hour or do something else, sleep.  Weekends, try to find time to grind at least an hour a day and NW on Sunday.  Your gameplay loop may vary, I used to play more when I had more time, but it's not like Choice getting 700 GS in 5 weeks kind of grind.  For me, I just fish.  Not into lifeskills either, so AFK cooking/alchemy is out the window since profits from that goes hand in hand with active gathering, which I loathe with every molecule in my body.  Add on top of that, AFK stuff lets you stay in the world of BDO while doing other things, even while playing other games.

EDIT:  In order to a top performer in uncapped PvP, like open world PvP / GvG, you'll need gear and skill.  This will require a grind.  A grind to get gear and a grind to practive PvP - getting good at your class while knowing how to fight other classes and getting a feel for the flow of fights in BDO.  IMO, GvG is the #1 best form of PvP in BDO -- and this is largely due to the fact it's not as carebear as gear capped stuff.  That and class and class alone matters less in GvG -- what matters the most is your gear and skill.  I know Tamers, Kunos, Succ Valks, and Awakening Maewhas who can demolish in GvG.  GvG is the one last remaining "exclusive" PvP content in this era of cleanliness and inclusivity running rampant in the game nowadays, and I feel every class has its place to shine in a good GvG fight.

good luck in your future game :)

You need around 1200-1500 hours of grind to reach 700 GS. You can do it faster, but as a new player you will not trust me. Guides named like 700 GS in 55 days were made by a high experianced person you will not repeat this because u dont have enough game knowledge. This game is grindy af. Only gear balanced pvp content is Arena of Solar in Red Battlefield you will not even deal 1 damage with tuvala. You need around 680 GS (302 AP is highly recommened) or u play classes like archer where positioning is more important than defense stat, but still u need around 302 AP and 950 accuracy. Secondly you lose your time if u earn money by only killing monsters, you can burn your Agris and do something else just read about other contents. Depends what you like. 

Yep!
Zombie grind for almolst nothing...
Brain dead grind is a thing!
But the game is cool and you can have fun doing other stuff
But the braindead grind sheeesh...